happiness

Gay marriage: finally legal across the United States!

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We turn a new page in history: Same-sex marriages are now legal across the United States. 

The question of same-sex marriages has been a recurrent problem in the United States, which was amplified by the fact that the U.S is divided into several states — meaning that each state will have its own opinion concerning a matter (which was the case for same-sex marriages!). From 2004 to 2008, same-sex marriage was only allowed in Massachusetts. However, more and more states started to allow same-sex marriages over the years, until it finally reached its peak in 2015 — where same-sex marriage became legal across the entire country.

Such an event does not miss the opportunity to please the population:

 

 

 

I’m glad that they are enjoyed by the resolution of a problem that was present in the american society for many years, but I have another problem in mind: Do we really deserve to get married to someone? 

Whether you are talking about a marriage between two people of opposite sex or same-sex marriage doesn’t matter to me; they are all humans. What matters to me is whether or not people deserve to get married.

As a matter of fact, we see many people getting married but we also see many of them getting divorced. Why? Because they suddenly don’t feel the same kind of love they felt back when they fell in love with their partner.

Some people take marriage too lightly. They get married on a whim and end up getting divorced at some point because they either cheated on their partner, or because they feel like it “doesn’t work anymore”.

All we end up with are sad children and the involvement of money in the matter — when a marriage is supposed to be about love only.

Marriage is a good thing, but it should not be accomplished in order to be happy but instead should be done in order to build an eternal form of happiness — as many couples are more happy than those who married someone to be happy.

Marriage should be thought over and over again before making a decision. Marrying someone means giving your life and your everything to that person. Once you get married, there should be no one in your eyes other than your partner — for the rest of your life.

However, seeing how many divorces happen around the world (my parents having divorced themselves) made me start to wonder if we are able to get married.

To get married, we need to have a true understanding of love. But even if we are able to understand different languages, different cultures or even difficult books, we are unable to understand what love truly is. All we have are simply our own hypotheses on the matter.

As a result of this, I believe that being happy about same-sex marriage should be done after we finally understand love and make of marriage something we can finally be proud of — which would also reduce the number of people divorcing.

Humans need to understand each other first before being able to build something together.

Letter to a suicidal person

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Dear lovely person,

I don’t know you and you don’t know me. However, I learned that you wanted to take away your life so I decided to give you this letter.

You certainly don’t remember the moment your mother gave birth to you, but in her eyes, you were the most beautiful gift she could have ever wished for.

Do you recall the first time you wanted to make your parents proud of you? A pat on the head or a compliment was enough to make you smile. Do you recall the first time you fell in love? That sweet feeling you had whenever you were close to that one person — the person who was different from the others. Do you recall your first fight? The pain made you cry, but it made you grow stronger. Do you recall the first time your heart got broken? You told yourself that everything would be okay, that you would always get back on your feet whenever you would fall down.

At the moment, you’ve fallen deep in the darkness, and you are struggling to get back on your feet. But there’s no need for you to try so hard by yourself. You’re not alone. Do not avoid the hands we’re giving you — nor mine. Getting help from someone doesn’t make you weak; asking help shows you are strong enough to let go of your pride and to walk toward a better and wonderful future.

Why do you want to take away your life? I know you’ve been through a lot — certainly way too much. But I want to give you my suggestion. Feel free to ignore it if you want, but I would appreciate it if you take the time to read it.

Instead of ending your life, I want you to start a new one. Keep the good memories and forget about the rest. Throw away all your bad memories, forget about the people who made you sad, forget about everything that would separate you from happiness. When good memories are all that remain, I want you to create new ones. Stay humble. Don’t ask for much. Be happy and spread happiness around you. Find love. Have kids. Or adopt some. Get a new job. Learn how to play an instrument. Travel to the places you’ve always wished to visit. There are so many opportunities waiting for you to grab them. You only live once so don’t miss that chance.

I hope this letter was able to help you. If it was the case, there is only one thing I want to ask you in return. If you see someone else who is sad or thinking about suicide, please help that person just like that letter helped you.

I wish you a wonderful life full of happiness,

C.

Living on an island: a small world

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Childhood is certainly the most important part of your life: the part where you learn the “basics”, where you have your first friends, where you still have your innocence and where you keep the best memories (or the worst) that will affect your life as you grow up.

When I was twelve, I was living in Tahiti, a small island located in French Polynesia in the Pacific Ocean. Small but pretty. Pretty but also ugly. Ugly but also wonderful. Living on an island was a good thing for me, as it allowed me to live “comfortably” most of the time and to escape the harsh reality of the world.

On an island, houses are either near the beaches, or towards the mountains located towards the center of the island. I was among those living near the a mountain. Islands are small, so there is a high chance you will live next to someone you already know, or live next to someone who knows a person you already know yourself. My neighbours were members of my own family. Aunts. Uncles. Cousins. Well, I was living in my grandmother’s house. I moved there with my mother after my parents got separated. It was an old house made of wood — the kind of house you don’t see anymore in developed countries. No door. Missing windows. The house could be described as an open house. Well the good point was that we didn’t have to worry about thieves since we knew everyone.

We were a lot to live in my grandmother’s house. Three families. One single uncle. One single aunt. One aunt who appeared from time to time. I used to spend a lot of time with my cousins — two girls younger than me. We would play a lot together, or talk about anything around the table in the living room. We would often invite other cousins living in the neighbourhood and spend time together. Football. Tennis. Cards. The number of games we played was just so great that I can’t remember all of them. The warm feeling I got back then is all I kept.

Escaping reality…

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Reality… We all have our own different point of view concerning reality, but I think we can all agree about one thing: Reality is harsh! Sometimes, some people may not bear reality or they can be bored with it. And so as a result of this, they may want to escape reality. I will answer 4 questions concerning this thought of escaping reality throughout this article.

Who would try to escape reality?  The answer to this question is quite simple: Anyone. Anyone would try to escape reality and everyone has their own reasons: it can be someone who thinks that the world is harsh and horrible and so wants to imagine a better world, it can be someone who lost everything that was dear to them, it can be someone who has no luck in life, it can be someone who does not like their life, it can be someone with issues at school, and way more.

Why do they try to escape reality?  As I said before, everyone has their own reason to escape reality. But if I had to sum up the whole idea, I would say that people want to escape reality because they are not happy with it. Because we are all different, we all have different desires concerning the form reality should take. Because our vision of reality cannot be fulfilled, we decide to create the kind of “reality” we desire through our imaginary world.

When do they try to escape reality? People usually try to escape reality when they possess something that would allow them to do so, when they find a way to escape reality, even if it is only for a short period of time. They can also try to escape reality when their problems become unbearable, when they are bored, or even when they do not want to listen to someone. There are so many moments where people want to escape reality that I can’t write every single moment.

How do they try to escape reality? There are many ways to escape reality, just like the number of moments where they would try to escape reality. Some of the most common to get disconnected from reality and the real world would be to listen to music, to watch a lot of series, to watch anime, to read books or even simply to go on the Internet, to the point of not even caring anymore about reality. But those are what I would call the “soft ways”. Yes, there are “hard ways” that are used by some people to escape reality, and those ways are the sad ways of trying to escape reality. Two of the “hard ways”  I am talking about are alcohol and suicide. However, I will not talk about those two in details through this article because I am going to write specific articles about them later. But what I can say is that when life becomes too unbearable and when problems are overwhelming us, we usually tend to disregard the soft ways and immediately jump on the hard ways (alcohol is a way to forget our problems, that is to say to forget a reality that only brings problems, while suicide is a way used by some people to escape a harsh reality for good).

 

Whatever your way of escaping reality, you should never use one of the hard way to escape reality, because those ways are similar to the notion of “running away” from your problems. If you try to escape reality because of a problem, you should face it with courage! That is the true way to change reality.  Now if you’re not escaping reality because of a problem, then you should just be careful not to completely disregard reality.

 

 

After the storm, there’s always a rainbow~

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I decided to write this article after talking with a friend about a sensitive subject, which is bullying. Of course, neither I nor my friend is a victim of bullying, but we watched a video (quite a sad one) about bullying and decided to talk about it. But this article is not focused on bullying, but on a more general subject (where bullying can be considered a sub-subject): Hardship and suffering.

We all experience hardship and suffering during our lives, but I want to talk about people who suffer more than the “normal limit”. Who are those people? Well they can be people who are victims of bullying, they can be people who lost someone who was dear to them, they can be children who experienced a traumatic event in the past such as the divorce of their parents for example, they can be people who lose everything and end up in the streets, they can be depressed people or even suicidal people.

Even though I mentioned a lot of categories of people who suffer more than the “normal limit”, most of them can be considered as subcategories (or even reasons) for two main categories: Depressed people and suicidal people. Be careful, some people will consider depressed people and suicidal people as being the same, but they are different and it would be a great mistake to group them together (especially if you are trying to help them because the actions you might use for a group might not be effective for the other).

Someone can fall into depression for many reasons but they usually have one thought in common: they think that nothing can take them out of depression. (this statement is based on many cases I’ve seen so far, so this statement is made from a subjective point of view, and not an objective one.) Being suicidal is worse than being depressed. There is a strong reason why being suicidal is worse than being depressed: Someone who is depressed still has the slight hope to be able to become happy one day (even though they still think nothing can take them out of it) and so have a wish to live a better life later on. On the other hand, when someone becomes suicidal, that slight hope disappears and the wish to live a better life later on turns into a wish to die and be finally freed from a life that could be compared to a horrible torture.

If I gave you the difference between a person victim of depression and a suicidal person, that is because I want you to know how to help them if you were to meet someone like that someday. (Yes, this article is here to give you a way to help them.)

When you see a depressed person, do not try to help them right away, because they won’t let you do so. You first have to get close to them, and let them open themselves to you. You need to gain their trust, but you also need to know what provoked their depression from their own mouth. When it happens, you will finally be able to help them.

 

When you see a suicidal person, the situation will be completely different. There will be two types of case that will usually make you realize that someone is suicidal: either the person failed to kill themselves, or the person is about to try to kill themselves.

Let’s talk first about the case in which a person failed to kill themselves. They tried to escape from a harsh life and yet they were not able to. They will certainly feel like prisonners. In my opinion, putting them into psychiatric hospital and giving them medicines all the time will not help them. In fact, I would even say that doing so would just “erase” their life, and they would become almost lifeless bodies, or as people would call it “zombies”. No, what we should do instead is to discover what pushed them to try to commit suicide. When you discover the reason, take that person with you and show them that life may be harsh, but it can also be beautiful. Show them that we are not prisonners of sadness and that we can find happiness if we never give up to seek it. Give them the strength they need to bring back that wish of living a better life later on. Choose carefully the words you are going to use and when you are going to use them, because a bad step could destroy your efforts to help them. Words are however usually useless if you were able to show them a beautiful side of life.

Let’s talk about a more difficult case, a case in which you witness someone who is trying to kill themselves. You might sometimes come across them in some places that are used to commit suicide, such as the Golden Gate Bridge. Here, using words can be useful or useless depending on the situation. You can try to change their mind, but it would be extremely difficult because they already decided to kill themselves. Do not talk too much unless you are confident it would change the situation. However, it does not mean that you should not talk to the suicidal person. In fact, in those situations, talking to them is the best way to delay their “final act” and to give you enough time to find a way to save them. But you have to be quick, because they will not wait forever. Remember that you are not an expert in this matter, so choosing the quickest way (but not always the best way) might be good enough to save someone.

Too many people give up on their lives because life has been a curse for them, with death being the only way to escape it. We only live once, so we should help them and turn their life into a gift they would cherish and love.

And if you are depressed or even think about suicide, please remember that there is always a rainbow after the storm.